There’s a version of motherhood online that makes it seem like you’re either thriving effortlessly in matching linen sets while baking sourdough at sunrise or barely surviving while joking about living off cold coffee and anxiety.
But lately I’ve realized something important:
I don’t actually relate to either version anymore.
Because the truth is, I’m not miserable.
And I’m also not magically floating through motherhood untouched by stress, hormones, exhaustion, or identity shifts either.
I’m just… building.
Slowly.
Honestly.
In real time.
And after three babies in five years, several postpartum depression seasons, and what I now lovingly refer to as my “knives down season,” I’m finally learning how much life can change when you stop trying to overhaul everything at once and instead focus on tiny supportive shifts.
Not dramatic reinvention.
Not “bouncing back.”
Not becoming someone else entirely.
Just:
building a life that feels a little softer to live inside of.
Want to watch the corresponding Vlog for this post?
👉Tune In
The Realization That Changed Everything
A thought hit me recently that felt so obvious I almost laughed.
I can have it all.
Just… not all at the same time.
And weirdly?
That realization brought me more peace than panic.
Because for years I operated like every dream needed to happen immediately or it somehow “didn’t count.” I treated life like a constant race toward becoming more productive, more impressive, more accomplished, more externally successful.
Meanwhile, I already had so much of what I once prayed for.
A loving partner.
Three healthy babies.
A home.
Creative freedom.
Slow mornings.
Family dinners.
Tiny hands reaching for mine.
I was already living pieces of my dream life while acting like happiness was still somewhere else.
The Tiny Resets That Are Helping Me Feel Human Again
Not perfect.
Human.
There’s a difference.
Because lately I’m less interested in becoming the “perfect mom” and more interested in becoming:
- regulated
- grounded
- present
- creative
- and honest about what actually helps
And honestly?
The things helping most are surprisingly small.
1. Running Smaller Races
One of the biggest mindset shifts in this season has been realizing:
you do not get extra points for overwhelming yourself.
You just don’t.
For years I believed productivity meant constantly operating at full capacity. Pushing harder. Doing more. Carrying everything.
And eventually?
My nervous system completely collapsed under the weight of that mentality.
Now I focus on:
- smaller goals
- simpler systems
- manageable routines
- and building trust with myself again
Instead of:
“fix your whole life today”
I ask:
“What would make today feel 10% better?”
That question changes everything.
2. Romanticizing Everyday Motherhood (Without Pretending It’s Easy)
Something I’ve become deeply aware of lately is that motherhood feels very different depending on the energy you bring into it.
Not because hard moments disappear.
But because your relationship to those moments changes.
There’s a difference between:
“We’re having a chaotic day.”
and:
“My entire identity is chaos.”
One feels human.
The other feels hopeless.
So lately I’ve been trying to notice what’s beautiful inside ordinary life instead of constantly waiting for life to become easier before I allow myself to enjoy it.
Things like:
- homemade lunchables packed for t-ball
- tiny voices excited about the car wash
- coffee in the morning sun
- resetting the kitchen before bed
- a quick shower while the baby naps
- laughing instead of spiraling when things inevitably go sideways
These moments matter.
This is life.
3. Working Smarter Instead of Harder
One thing I’m completely done doing?
Pretending I need to personally become an expert in every category of life.
Lately I’ve become obsessed with creating systems that support me instead of drain me.
That includes:
- simplifying my makeup routine
- building a realistic skincare system
- learning what haircuts actually work for my life
- finding clothes I feel good in
- and using tools/resources to make decisions faster
Which is exactly how I ended up finally getting my first haircut since November 2024.
And honestly?
It became symbolic of something much bigger.
My Surprisingly Great Ulta Salon Experience
I genuinely did not realize Ulta Beauty Salon Services existed until recently.
I had reached the point where my hair desperately needed help:
- postpartum shedding
- dry ends
- uneven growth
- zero shape
- and no desire to spend hundreds at a luxury salon
I also didn’t want the emotional weirdness that can sometimes come with “free” haircuts from people you know personally.
I just wanted:
- autonomy
- simplicity
- clarity
- and someone to give me exactly what I asked for
And somehow?
That’s exactly what happened.
I booked online easily, walked in with a few simple requests (“soft face framing, internal layers, keep it ponytail friendly”), and left feeling more like myself than I had in a long time.
Not because a haircut solved my life.
But because sometimes caring for yourself in small ways reminds your nervous system:
“Oh. I matter too.”
The Morning Routine That Grounds Me
Lately my mornings have become less about optimization and more about support.
My current staples:
- coffee from my Breville Barista Express
- journaling Morning Pages style
- supplements
- quick skincare
- lightweight makeup
- comfortable clothes
- and tiny moments before the house fully wakes up
Current favorites include:
- Ritual Postnatal Vitamins
- BodyHealth Perfect Amino Electrolytes
- Legendairy Milk Milkapalooza breastfeeding support
Not because I’m trying to become some hyper-optimized wellness machine.
But because I’m trying to support my body kindly through a demanding season.
What I’m Learning About Postpartum Depression This Time
This postpartum season has been radically different than my previous ones.
Not because it disappeared.
But because I stopped fighting myself so aggressively inside of it.
Before, my depression became compounded by guilt:
- guilt for slowing down
- guilt for struggling
- guilt for not producing enough
- guilt for needing support
This time?
I’m trying something different:
curiosity instead of shame.
And honestly?
That alone has changed everything.
I no longer believe healing requires hating yourself into becoming “better.”
You don’t get awards for suffering the hardest.
The Life I’m Actually Trying to Build
Not a perfect life.
A sustainable one.
One where:
- creativity exists alongside motherhood
- home feels supportive instead of suffocating
- my dreams can grow slowly
- and I stop acting like joy only counts once everything is “finished”
Because maybe this season isn’t an interruption.
Maybe this is the life.
And maybe learning to fully inhabit it is the real work.
A Small Disclaimer 🤍
This post may contain affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you purchase through my links at no additional cost to you. I only share products, services, and tools I genuinely use, love, or would recommend to a friend.