Here’s the thing.
I never want my content to give the illusion that I have it all figured out—that I’m the perfect picture of health, wealth, love, and radiant light at all times. Because I don’t. And honestly? That’s not the point.
The point is: we’re in this together.
You share your experiences, I’ll share mine, and somewhere in the middle, we’ll all grow.
My 20s didn’t look like the typical script I saw many women I love following.
While some were deep into formal education, grabbing drinks on the weekends, or booking big getaways when the adult money started rolling in—I was somewhere else entirely.
I was tracking down every mentor I could find.
I was devouring personal development books—reading, re-reading, absorbing every word.
I was healing. Confronting traumas that had shaped me in ways I refused to carry forward.
I was earning certifications, attending seminars, taking trainings—investing in everything that would help me understand myself, others, and the ways we can actually get out of our own way and step into who we’re meant to be.
So no, I don’t have a degree from a four-year university. But I do have ten years of lived, studied, and practiced experience in what it takes to transform—mind, body, and spirit.
And that leads me to now.
Every day, I ask myself: How do I want to show up for the people who take the time to tune in to my corner of the internet?
This morning, the answer was clear.
I wanted to create something that, if followed to a T, could actually change someone’s life.
Sure, I have paid offerings, deeper dive programs, and structured ways to work with me. But what if I simply laid out the steps here? What if one of my first blog posts and the accompanying podcast episode became the foundation—the groundwork for real transformation—so that every piece after this just builds upon it?
That’s the goal today.
A big bite? Absolutely. But I want to get in the practice of giving you everything I can. Because maybe—just maybe—one day, I’ll hear your story. I’ll hear how you finally claimed the hell out of your power because my belief in you sparked your belief in yourself.
And that? That would make it all worth it.
If you don’t know my story, let me share just a bit.
I’ve been navigating life with a neurodivergent brain for as long as I can remember. By the age of four, I had already labeled my recurring bouts of insomnia as “insomnia periods.” These windows of sleeplessness have returned like clockwork, twice a year—once in late winter and again in late summer or early autumn. Occasionally, a third appears, but those two have remained consistent.
For nearly three decades, I believed this was normal.
It wasn’t until I turned 29 that I learned these episodes weren’t just quirks of my biology—they were abnormal. During these periods, I would stay awake into the early hours of the morning, finally catching three to four hours of restless sleep before waking up with no chance of drifting back off. For an entire month at a time, I functioned on minimal rest, running on empty.
Then the crash would come.
My motivation would plummet. My energy, drained. My brain, in whiplash. My heart, heavy with the weight of falling behind in school, in work, in life.
Alongside this cycle, ADHD symptoms were always present but never diagnosed.
Yet, from the outside, you never would have known I was struggling.
I was surrounded by high achievers—driven, disciplined, Type A personalities who set goals and met them with ease. I had incredible friends, family, and teammates on the soccer field. But rather than feeling inspired, I often felt broken in comparison. I’d read the same assignment five times and still earn a C on the quiz. I’d pour my heart into a paper, then self-sabotage and fail to submit the final draft. I’d receive big awards, yet still need summer school to pass Geometry.
I was a walking contradiction.
And then, at 29, I hit a breaking point.
Close friends were shocked to see me unravel. They had no idea how much I had been struggling behind the scenes, how long I had been masking the exhaustion, the self-doubt, the cycle of striving and self-sabotage.
For years, my approach had been very Elsa from Frozen:
Conceal. Don’t feel. Don’t let them know.
Behind closed doors, I was devouring self-development books, attending events, watching videos, and journaling obsessively to track my thoughts and behaviors—desperately trying to appear “normal” and keep up.
I share all of this because when I say I get it, I mean it.
I may not know your exact struggle, but I know what it feels like to doubt your worth. To battle motivation that doesn’t work the way the world says it should. To absorb all the personal development wisdom out there and still feel like something’s missing. To feel like you just can’t win.
And what I’ve learned?
It doesn’t matter how much knowledge you accumulate, how many degrees you earn, how many certifications you hold, or how many experts you surround yourself with. You are not immune to struggle.
If you don’t learn to embody what you know—if you don’t learn to integrate, to apply, to live it—you won’t get very far.
My breakdown forced me to face this truth head-on.
I left a career I had fought to build. We pulled our kids from the prestigious school I had been so proud to enroll them in. I shut everyone out. I sat in my depression.
For the first time, I was forced to stop.
My entire life, I had been hustling, trying to prove I was enough—smart enough, athletic enough, pretty enough, enough enough. Perfection had been my security blanket, my armor. And without it?
I felt naked.
Terrified.
But if you’re like me—if you’re tired of constantly starting over, if you’re ready to claim the life you know you’re meant for, if you’re willing to release the stories that have kept you stuck and finally return to yourself—
Then this one is for you.
One important disclaimer: in personal development, it’s easy to dismiss what we “already know.” But when we do that, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to relearn in a way that actually shifts us.
So, I invite you to approach this with fresh eyes and an open heart. Breathe deeply. Be the lifelong learner. Be the version of you who is willing to receive the help the universe is offering you right now.
Because the first step?
It isn’t another strategy, another course, another checklist.
It’s allowing.
Allowing yourself to believe this time can be different. Allowing yourself to release limiting beliefs and adopt new ones. Allowing yourself to feel the joy and gratitude that will raise your frequency.
And that’s where we begin.
The Power of Your Frequency
Personal frequency isn’t just a concept for the spiritually inclined. Science, including research from the HeartMath Institute, proves that we emit measurable energy. Our frequency—our emotional and energetic state—affects everything.
And the simplest, most powerful way to shift your frequency?
Gratitude.
I know—ugh, gratitude again?
Yes. Again.
Because most of us mistake surface-level “thanks” for true gratitude.
Before my breakdown, no one would have called me ungrateful. But when I started asking myself deeper questions—when I detailed why I loved my home, when I listed the small joys hidden in my daily routine, when I recalled moments of unexpected support that meant the world to me and more—something shifted.
I stopped thinking gratitude and started feeling it.
I cried as I realized how blessed my life was, even in the hardest season.
That’s why I created the Gratitude Glow Journal—a 28-day guide to help you reconnect with the magic in your life. It’s a tool you can use again and again to build a personal archive of evidence that your life is already extraordinary, if only you pause to see it.
As I practiced deep, embodied gratitude, everything changed.
Like a forest after a wildfire, new life began to sprout. Creativity returned. Inspiration flowed. I found myself writing, drawing, dancing, and singing again—not for achievement, but for joy.
From this space, I rebuilt my website, relaunched my brand, and revived my offerings. But this time, it wasn’t from a place of hustle. It was from a place of gratitude, of alignment.
And because of that?
People found me. They downloaded. They purchased. They joined.
The results I had once chased came to me naturally.
Because my energy, my frequency, my being was different this time.
And yours can be too.
So if gratitude is step one to raising your frequency, where do we go from here?
Ever had a splinter you just couldn’t get out?
It’s tiny, but all day, it’s there. You wash your hands, and it burns. You pick something up, and it stings. You try to sleep, and that little sliver keeps buzzing in the background of your awareness, pulling focus, stealing ease.
You didn’t choose to get the splinter, but now it’s dictating your experience.
Now, translate this to the choices we do make—often unconsciously—that drain our energy and lower our frequency. They may be less obvious, but they’re just as potent:
- The habit of checking your phone compulsively.
- The sleep you sacrificed even though you had control over it.
- The food choices that left you feeling sluggish instead of fueled.
- The clutter in your space that silently weighs you down.
- The story you’re telling yourself that a friend is upset with you—whether it’s true or not.
These things accumulate.
Just like the splinter, these seemingly small, habitual choices pull at your energy. But here’s the thing—you can remove them. You can put the phone down, reclaim your sleep, nourish your body, clear your space, and have the conversation that releases the tension.
Most of us—myself included—let these energy leaks pile up. It’s like running a computer with too many tabs open. Slower processing. More frustration. Less capacity for what actually matters.
And here’s the real kicker: for every "yes" you give to these distractions, you’re unknowingly saying "no" to something greater.
Enough.
Many of these little "yeses" are rooted in something deeper: limiting beliefs, subconscious programming, and old wounds clinging to us like gum on the bottom of our shoe—sticky, messy, and holding us back.
Which brings me to something I call The Three Negotiators.
The Three Negotiators: Your Inner Critic, Inner Child, and Limited Self
These three voices aren’t here to destroy you—they’re here to protect you. Their job is to keep you safe, comfortable, and unchanged. And while the self-development world often pushes the idea of “killing the ego,” I don’t believe in that approach.
Think about it: if you had to work closely with someone, would eliminating them be the best way to resolve your conflicts? Of course not.
The same goes for these parts of yourself. They aren’t enemies. They’re allies—if you take the time to understand them.
The Inner Critic
Picture the perfect version of yourself. The one who never fails, never makes mistakes, is always early, always polished, always says the right thing. Now imagine this version of you sitting with that girl from high school—the one you cut off for a reason—gossiping about you in all your messy glory.
That’s your inner critic.
She’s ruthless. She notices the smudges on your mirror, the zit on your temple, the peanut butter stain from your toddler’s tantrum. She whispers that you should be more, do better, be perfect.
Feel free to name her. Mine? Prim—short for Prim & Proper.
The Inner Child
Now, go back to a time when you were seven or younger—when something scary, hard, or confusing happened.
That little you is still inside, doing their best to make sense of the world with limited knowledge. But here’s the thing—many of us still take advice from that child, letting their fears dictate our decisions.
Think about it: If a toddler was making your life choices, you’d never drive on the freeway (too fast!), never try new foods (looks weird!), and never put yourself out there (what if they don’t like me?).
Yet, we do this all the time.
My inner child is four. Yours might be three or seven. Picture them clearly—because they’re still part of you.
The Limited Self
Finally, meet the most stuck version of you.
She’s exhausted. Her house is a mess. Her hair hasn’t been washed in days. She’s struggling to get out of bed, let alone make nourishing choices. She’s overwhelmed, ashamed, and paralyzed.
And here’s the thing—because she’s stuck in cycles of guilt, blame, and fear, she takes everything personally. Even your growth feels like a threat to her. Any step you take toward expansion feels like an attack.
This is your limited self.
Bringing Them to the Table
Now, imagine sitting at a table with all three of them:
Your inner critic sits stiff-backed, eyeing you with disapproval.
Your inner child fidgets in her booster seat, waiting for snacks, easily startled.
Your limited self sits slouched, arms crossed, disengaged but defensive.
They’re all you.
And they’re all negotiators—trying, in their own way, to keep you safe. But safety isn’t always what we need. Sometimes, we need to listen, acknowledge, and then lovingly lead ourselves forward.
Because on the other side of these voices?
Freedom. Expansion. Peace.
Now, we need someone to sit on the other side of the table.
Your highest self.
It’s way more fun to picture her than the others, but—ironically—sometimes it’s even more intimidating. Because let’s be real: most of us have let “the 3” run the show for so long that stepping into our highest self feels…unfamiliar.
This is the part where we let ourselves dream, unhinged.
If nothing stood in your way—no financial limits, no career constraints, no rules about what’s “realistic”—who would you be? What would you do? What would you have?
Where does she live? Is she traveling the world with no permanent home? Leading a powerhouse legal team in a city high-rise? Homeschooling her kids in a cozy home in the suburbs? Running a thriving homestead, completely off the grid? There’s no wrong answer.
Inside The LB Method, we take this even deeper—mapping out your dreams with clarity so you can break them down into reality. But for now, grab a sheet of paper, set a five-minute timer, and let it all pour out.
Not the life you think you should want. Not the version of success you’ve been told to chase. But the one that lights you up when you drop the weight of external expectations. If you could pivot—without judgment, without hesitation—what would you actually do?
No one will see this unless you choose to share it. So be detailed.
How does your highest self wear her hair? What’s her style? What kind of energy does she carry? How does she feel on the inside? Picture her smile, her posture, her presence. Hear her voice, her laugh. See her moving through the world—whether she’s the traveler, the CEO, the homeschooling mom, the homesteader, or something entirely different.
Now, take a moment to feel her life. Not just what she does, but how she exists each day. How does she wake up? How does she move? What does she prioritize? And most importantly—how can you bring more of that energy into your daily life now?
Then, look at the bigger vision—the being, the doing, the having. What small choices could start moving you in that direction today? (If this is lighting you up, The LB Method will walk you through this step-by-step.)
So now, the table is set.
On one side, you’ve got “the 3.” Your inner critic, your inner child, and your limited self.
On the other? You—right now—and your highest self.
And this is where you take the reins.
You turn to “the 3” and let them know: Thank you. Thank you for getting us here. Thank you for your input. And congratulations—you’re being promoted to consultants.
(And we all know what “consultant” means, right? They’ll still come to the office. They’ll still chime in. But ultimately? You and highest self will be making the final calls.)
From now on, when the alarm goes off early and bed feels so cozy… when you’re debating between making the meal you prepped or swinging through the drive-thru… when you’re choosing between sticking to the plan or self-sabotaging with a mindless scroll…
Call a team meeting.
Tune in to highest self.
And negotiate with “the 3” in a way that still honors the vision you and highest self are creating. Because this life? It’s yours to lead.
As you start getting comfortable owning the room—learning to manage your three negotiators, tuning into highest self, identifying and redirecting subconscious energy drains, raising your frequency with gratitude—it might not feel like you’ve done much.
And you know what? You’re not wrong.
Because there’s a fundamental shift happening here. A paradigm that needs to be sifted.
Most of us—myself included—have spent years believing that success is all about action. That if we just do enough, push hard enough, stay disciplined enough, we’ll get where we want to go. And while action is essential, here’s the shift: we’ve been working with the wrong equation.
Most people operate under the belief that achieving their goals is 80% external action and 20% internal alignment. But for deep, lasting, sustainable change? We have to flip the script. It’s 80% internal. Getting your mind, body, and spirit into full alignment. Doing the foundational work that ensures every external action you take—the 20%—is powerful, precise, and deeply effective.
Think of an iceberg. The part you see above water is only a fraction of its full structure. Or a bamboo plant—years of unseen root growth before a sudden, unstoppable surge upward. True transformation happens the same way. The kind I want for you isn’t just about what people see on the outside. It’s about feeling strong, steady, and unstoppable from the inside out.
Now that you’ve started shifting your internal paradigm—reclaiming energy, aligning with your highest self, and recognizing that sustainable transformation is 80% inner work—the next step is to create a strong foundation for your dreams to take shape.
There are countless ways to do this. You might find a local healing center, commit to a movement practice that helps you think clearly, begin a meditation ritual at home, or seek out content creators who inspire you to expand your thinking (cough cough, wink).
A core mission of mine is to support you in this process—to give you the tools to be, do, and have the life you desire in the most joyfully aligned way.
And today, we get to bridge the gap between internal transformation and external action.
The Problem With Common Goal-Setting Advice
After years of immersing myself in the world of self-development—both personally and professionally—I’ve seen a recurring pattern. A lake-sized pool of advice that, while helpful for some, is incomplete for many.
For the sake of time, let’s address a few common action steps that need clarification and expansion.
1. Discover Your “WHY”
- Why it’s incomplete: Most advice on finding your WHY assumes you’re already deeply in touch with your dreams—that you know exactly what you want and are ready to pursue it wholeheartedly. But let’s be real: for many of us, even admitting what we want feels terrifying. Our three negotiators step in, rationalizing why our dream isn’t realistic. Then, before we know it, our primal brain sounds the alarm, steering us away from our desires in the name of self-preservation.
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What we’re going to do about it: To go deeper into our highest self practice, grab three sheets of paper.
- On the first, set a 5-minute timer and free-write about your dream life. No limitations. No financial constraints. No fear. What does full alignment look like for you?
- When time’s up, pause and read through your words. Now, take the second sheet and write down every doubt, fear, or limiting belief that comes up as you read your dreams aloud. Be brutally honest.
- On the third page, rewrite those limiting beliefs into empowering truths. For example, if your belief is, “I’m not qualified to do this,” your rewrite might be, “My lived experiences and passion uniquely prepare me to succeed.”
This practice isn’t about pretending fear doesn’t exist—it’s about acknowledging it, understanding where it comes from, and then choosing to move forward anyway.
Your WHY isn’t just a phrase on paper. It’s the vision of your most empowered self—the version of you who already knows she’s capable.
2. Set SMART Goals (But Smarter)
- Why it’s incomplete: SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely) are great in theory, but if you haven’t done the inner work, they can actually shrink your vision. If your goals feel too “safe,” you might be setting yourself up for stagnation rather than growth.
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What we’re going to do about it: Flip your goal-setting process. Instead of starting with what’s possible, start with what you truly desire. On the back of your third sheet, write down:
- The tangible outcomes you want.
- The feelings you want to cultivate along the way.
Then, work backward. What small shifts can you make now to embody those feelings? If you want confidence, move your body daily. If you want peace, meditate. These micro-habits anchor your goals in your reality now, making your big dreams feel inevitable.
And when it comes to measurable goals? Start smaller than you think. If your ultimate goal is a multi-million-dollar wellness business, don’t fixate on that number yet. Instead, ask: Can I make $30 from my passion today? Momentum builds from consistent, aligned action—not from pressure and overwhelm.
3. Put It on the Calendar (The Right Way)
- Why it’s incomplete: Scheduling your goals is important, but if you haven’t addressed the inner resistance that comes with big change, no planner or productivity hack will save you.
- What we’re going to do about it: Instead of just writing tasks down, create rituals around your growth. If you schedule a workout, set an intention for why you’re moving. If you plan a journaling session, light a candle or play music that grounds you. These small shifts reinforce that your time is sacred—that your growth isn’t just another task, but a priority.
The Truth About Your Journey
Transformation isn’t linear. It’s full of twists, turns, breakthroughs, and roadblocks. But you are the author of this story. And every small step—every moment you choose to honor your dreams—is an act of courage.
So today, I challenge you:
- Get honest about what you want.
- Do the inner work to uncover and rewrite limiting beliefs.
- Take one aligned action toward your dream.
Because the life you desire? It’s already waiting for you.
And the only thing left to do… is claim it.
We’ve begun elevating our frequency, gotten in touch with our negotiators, shifted our paradigms, and expanded on common advice so we can implement in aligned, sustainable ways.
Now, it’s time to take action—in a way that works with you, not against you.
The Power of the LB Method
Rather than relying on all-or-nothing thinking—where we expect ourselves to operate at full capacity every single day—we need a system that adapts to our energy, seasons, and life’s inevitable unpredictability.
Some mornings, you wake up before your alarm, fired up to pursue your dreams. Other days, hitting snooze twice feels like a victory. And that’s okay.
Just like we’re shifting away from the idea of killing our egos and instead learning to work with our negotiators, we’re also shifting away from the pressure to crush it or not try at all. The goal? Consistent, aligned progress. Even moving just 1% closer to your vision daily is far more effective than chasing perfection in sporadic bursts that quickly burn out.
Your Next Step: A Conversation with Your Highest Self
It’s time to get clear on what aligned action looks like for you.
Step 1: Define Your Highest Self’s Daily Actions
- Imagine your highest self is already living your dream life. What would she do every morning, afternoon, and evening to move the needle forward? What of that routine can be done in your current life? What actions need to be taken now to make progress toward the life of your highest self?
- Write down three sets of daily actions—one for each part of the day—that anchor you in the feeling and progress of your highest self. Create an aligned sequence for the morning, afternoon and evening.
Step 2: Meet Yourself Where You Are
- Now, shift perspectives. Instead of your highest self, step into the shoes of your limited self—the version of you that struggles.
- What is the smallest version of those aspirational actions that still supports momentum?
- These become your base-level, non-negotiable behaviors.
Step 3: Find Your Middle Ground
- Between your highest self actions and your base-level actions, there’s a middle tier—actions that push you forward but don’t require maximum effort.
- Note these down. Now you have three levels of action for each time of day.
This approach ensures flexibility without sacrificing progress. You’re building a system that works with your brain instead of against it.
The Commitment: 28 Days of Aligned Action
Now, it’s time to commit. For the next 28 days:
- At minimum, show up for your base-level behaviors daily.
- At best, lean into your middle or highest-level actions when energy allows.
One of my favorite ways to track progress? Sticky notes on the mirror.
What began as a 90-day countdown to “meet my new self” has evolved over the years. Right now, I’m counting up to 120 days, adding 20–40 stickies at a time, broken into phases.
Regardless of your approach, these numbered sticky notes serve as:
- A visual reminder on my mirror.
- A motivational tool as I take daily progress photos.
- A marker of growth as I complete each day.
Want to try it? Adapt this practice to what feels right for you—whether it’s a 90-day countdown or a 28-day count-up or somewhere in-between. There’s no perfect way—just your way.
And that’s the magic of aligned action. It’s not about forcing yourself into a rigid system—it’s about building a system that supports you.
No matter what season of life you’re in right now, I want you to hear this loud and clear:
You’re doing an incredible job.
But here’s the truth: it’s possible to be “doing great” while simply surviving—caught in the cycle of external expectations, “shoulds,” and the way things have always been. You deserve so much more than that. You have the power to step outside of those old patterns and create a life you absolutely love. I want that for you more than anything.
My hope is that, at the very least, this has sparked a thought in you about the boundless possibilities you’re capable of. And at its best? I hope it fuels you to take action. Dive into the LB Method, combine it with the tools and insights you’ve received here, and get ready to make the kind of transformative changes that will leave you saying, “This was the moment that made all the difference.”
I can’t wait to hear your story.
Until next time. You're doing such a great job.
❤️Lex