Some days, everything flows. Other days, it feels like the world is closing in—every noise amplified, every touch overstimulating, every demand heavier than the last. You love your family, your work, your life… but sometimes, it all just feels like too much. If you’ve ever found yourself snapping, shutting down, or feeling waves of resentment despite having a life that “looks” good on paper, you’re not alone. There’s a reason for this—and, more importantly, a way through it.
The Neuroscience of Overstimulation & Overwhelm
When you’re constantly bombarded with external input—kids calling your name, notifications pinging, endless tasks—your nervous system stays in a heightened state of activation. Here’s what’s happening in your brain:
- The Amygdala (Your Brain’s Alarm System) Goes into Overdrive – This part of your brain is responsible for detecting threats. When overwhelmed, it interprets constant stimulation as a potential danger, keeping you in fight-or-flight mode.
- Your Prefrontal Cortex (The Rational Thinking Brain) Shuts Down – This is the part of your brain responsible for decision-making, patience, and impulse control. When overstimulated, it struggles to function, making it harder to respond calmly and thoughtfully.
- The Nervous System Gets Stuck in High Alert – Your sympathetic nervous system (responsible for fight-or-flight) stays activated, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, making you feel on edge, irritable, and easily triggered.
- Dopamine & Serotonin Levels Drop – These “feel-good” neurotransmitters regulate mood, motivation, and emotional resilience. When depleted, patience wears thin, and frustration rises faster than usual.
This is why even small inconveniences can feel like massive emotional triggers when you’re already maxed out.
Why Overstimulation Often Leads to Anger
If you find yourself snapping, it’s not because you’re failing—it’s because your brain is overwhelmed. Anger is often a secondary emotion, masking deeper feelings of:
- Overwhelm: Too many inputs and not enough processing time.
- Powerlessness: Feeling like you have no control over your time or space.
- Exhaustion: Depleted resources, leading to a short fuse.
- Unmet Needs: Lack of personal space, quiet, rest, or autonomy.
Your nervous system is trying to protect you. But the good news? You can regain control, regulate your emotions, and shift from survival mode to a state of calm and clarity.
How to Regulate Your Nervous System & Find Calm Again
1. Engage the Parasympathetic Nervous System (Your Calm & Restore Mode)
To counteract fight-or-flight, activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your body shift into a relaxed state.
- Deep breathing (4-7-8 method) – Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. This slows your heart rate and tells your brain it’s safe to relax.
- Cold water exposure – Splash cold water on your face or run your wrists under cool water to stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps shift your nervous system into calm mode.
- Progressive muscle relaxation – Tense and release different muscle groups to reduce physical tension caused by stress.
2. Reduce Sensory Overload in Real Time
When overstimulation hits, minimize incoming stimuli to give your brain a break.
- Lower the volume – Turn off background noise, dim the lights, or put on noise-canceling headphones.
- Step away – Physically remove yourself from the stimulation for a few moments, even if it’s just closing your eyes or stepping into another room.
- Use grounding techniques – Feel your feet on the floor, place your hands on your heart, or use the "5-4-3-2-1 method" (name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste).
3. Regain Control of Your Emotional State
Your emotions aren’t just happening to you—you can actively shift them.
- Name it to tame it – Saying “I feel overstimulated” instead of “I’m so annoyed” shifts your brain out of emotional reactivity.
- Lower your voice instead of raising it – Whispering instead of yelling can regulate your own nervous system and get your kids’ attention more effectively.
- Visualize a safe space – Close your eyes and imagine a calm, peaceful place. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality—it will start to relax as if you were actually there.
4. Strengthen Your Daily Resilience
Long-term nervous system regulation requires daily habits that fill your cup before it overflows.
- Create buffer moments – Build small, intentional pauses in your day (e.g., 30 seconds of deep breathing before responding to your kids or a 5-minute stretch before bed).
- Prioritize movement – Gentle movement like walking, stretching, or yoga helps process excess stress hormones.
- Protect your personal space – Even 10 minutes of alone time can reset your nervous system.
- Eat for emotional stability – Stable blood sugar prevents irritability. Include protein, healthy fats, and fiber in your meals.
5. Shift the Internal Narrative
Many of us carry subconscious beliefs about what a “good” mom, partner, or professional should look like. Release the impossible standard.
- It’s not about “doing it all” – Your worth isn’t measured by productivity.
- Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity – A regulated mom is a present mom.
- You are allowed to have needs – Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential for everyone’s well-being.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not Broken, You Are Just Overloaded
Your frustration doesn’t mean you don’t love your life. Your anger doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means your nervous system is asking for support.
By understanding the neuroscience behind overstimulation, you can move from reacting to responding—from feeling trapped in overwhelm to creating a rhythm that actually works for you.
This season is intense, but it won’t last forever. And in the meantime? You can create space for yourself, regulate your emotions, and navigate it with more ease.
You’re doing such a great job.
❤️Lex